The Perils of Either/Or Thinking
In January of my Freshman year of high school, there was a magazine (not a particularly good one) called the National Lampoon that featured on its cover, the picture above, with the title, If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog! Of course, it was a promotional stunt, but it was so in your face shocking that it soon became a hot discussion topic among my peers.
Some thought it was hilarious while others, especially the animal lovers among us, found it to be very offensive and in poor taste. There seemed to be very little middle ground on the topic. Either you loved it or you hated it. There were a few that simply shrugged and said they didn’t really care one way or the other, but then, they were that way on about every topic we discussed. No matter how one felt, though, they were allowed to have their own perspective and we went on being friends.
It occurred to me the other day that in our society, and yes, even within the walls of our church, we have adopted an either/or posture on almost every topic. Either you are for me…and if not, you are definitely against me. Either you buy everything I tell you, or you totally reject it. Either you totally agree with me, or I will have no use for you. And the stakes for disagreeing are grow exponentially higher, often causing anger, suspicion, distrust and sometimes even ending friendships.
The more things change, the more things stay the same. Did you know that was exactly why there were two different ruling parties that made up the Sanhedrin in Jesus day? They were called the Pharisees and the Sadducees. They couldn’t agree on anything. The Pharisees believed in the Resurrection. The Sadducees didn’t. (Perhaps that’s why they were so sad…). The Pharisees believed that if you did enough good works, you could bank some of it to help you get into heaven. The Sadducees believed that since there was no resurrection, this life was all they had, so they had to live it up and get as much as they could while they were still alive. And they believed that the more possessions one had, the more proof that God was with them and blessing them…which was one thing that the Pharisees began to adopt as well as they cushioned their own homes and pockets a little more.
But when it came to Jesus…they both suddenly agreed! HE was dangerous. He was usurping their authority and their important role in society. As such, He had to go!
So, they began to use either/or thinking with Jesus. Buy this magazine or we’ll shoot this dog! Over and over, they tried to trap Jesus into committing to one or the other, in order to trap Him. Need some examples?
John 8:4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
John 8:6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
They knew that if he said “Stone her” they could simply turn Him over to the Romans for preempting their authority to decide between life and death, and the Romans would dispose of Him. Problem solved. But if Jesus said, “Let her go” the people would be livid that He was ignoring Moses law and turn on Him. Again, problem solved. Either/or would carry the day. But not so fast. Jesus has never been about either/or thinking. It’s too narrow and dismisses any room for grace. Let’s go back to John 8:7
7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone! 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
John 8:9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
John 8:11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
With a simple statement, Jesus dismissed, not only a crowd full of sinners, but their “either/or” thinking as well.
Here’s another: Mark 12:13 Later the leaders sent some Pharisees and supporters of Herod to trap Jesus into saying something for which he could be arrested. 14 “Teacher,” they said, “we know how honest you are. You are impartial and don’t play favorites. You teach the way of God truthfully. Now tell us—is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? 15 Should we pay them, or shouldn’t we?” (There it is…either/or)
Jesus saw through their hypocrisy and said, “Why are you trying to trap me? Show me a Roman coin,a and I’ll tell you.” 16 When they handed it to him, he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied.
Mark 12:17 “Well, then,” Jesus said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.” His reply completely amazed them.
Why? Why did it amaze them? Because it didn’t fall into their either/or thinking. There are many other examples in scripture, but they all make the same point. You don’t have to buy the magazine OR shoot the dog.
You don’t have to share a certain post with 10 friends or lose the blessing of Jesus. You don’t have to subscribe to mask or no mask. You can support black lives while continuing to support law enforcement. It doesn’t have to be an either/or proposition. But the more important point to consider as you seek to lead others to Jesus is, how well are you representing the character of Jesus and His love through your words and actions?
Even if you don’t believe in wearing masks and you think it is all a croc, when you go to church and they ask you to be considerate, do you yield for the sake of loving the weaker (perhaps immuno-depressed) brother or sister and put one on, joyful to serve others humbly in such a simple (though perhaps irritating) way? Or do you proudly, defiantly look for ways to register your disdain and use your position in the church to lobby for changing “these stupid requirements”?
When you hear Black Lives Matter, do you humbly seek to hear the plight, concerns and fears of your black brother or sister, happy to serve through listening and learning in humility, or do you immediately jump to All Lives Matter as you seek to argue the point of which matters more?
Did you know that I can readily accept and champion Black lives mattering, seeking to uphold and support my black friends and promoting the need for police reform, without agreeing on every point that the Black Lives Matter platform puts forth. I can likewise support those police officers who are out there on the front lines every day doing their absolute best to do a good job to protect and serve. I don’t have to allow myself to be polarized so much that I lose the ability to reason. I can actually, if I think about it…support both.
And someone’s need to have me agree with them on their polarized end of the spectrum is just that--their need. And when I don’t conform to their demands, many have pushed me to the opposite end of the spectrum in their mind, without actually considering my reasons, or the fact that I don’t happen to agree with the opposite end of their spectrum either. But we are caught in a society that pushes, very strongly, either you are with me or you are against me!
I love my wife, but I don’t have to agree with every last idea or thought she has in order to continue loving her. We are going to have differences. HOW we work through our differences really determines whether I truly love her or not. And the same is true in the church. How we love others will show whether we truly love Christ or not.
I may believe that wearing a mask is stupid, suffocating and non-essential, but still choose to wear it out of love. Because I understand that wearing it tells my fellow worshippers that I am more concerned about their health, and their belief that masks help contain the spread of a virus, than I am about my personal rights. I can choose to wear it joyfully, because I want my church to be perceived as a safe place to be for my brothers and sisters, as well as a safe place to bring their friends. Both physically and spiritually.
Jesus said it this way: John 13:35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
Don’t buy the magazine…and please don’t shoot the dog. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But DO show love and respect for others as a way of proving to the world that you are a disciple of Jesus.
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