It's NOT All About Me!

 I love all of the plot twists and turns in the story of Esther.  It's a book filled with "I didn't see that coming" moments.  From a queen who won't cooperate with a vile request and gets deposed, to snatching up all of the beautiful virgins for the king, to him picking the least likely, to a villain in chief, Haman who hates Jews and plots their demise to a queen risking her life for her people...the story just keeps moving in a serpentine, "good news, bad news" type of way.

Picking up the thoughts from my last blog post (That ONE Thing I Can't Let Go), let's dive back into the next twist.  Haman has a 75 foot pole erected to impale Mordecai because Mordecai refuses to bow to him.  He just can't let it go.  Though he is second in command of all of Persia, this one measly guy won't bow!  So his wife, Zeresh, tells him to erect a 75-foot pole, ask the king for permission to impale Mordecai, and then go on his merry way.  He orders workmen  to work through the night to be ready in the morning to off Mordecai so that he can then be happy and free to enjoy dining with the king and queen exclusively.  But...Plot Twist...

That very same night while the workmen are setting up the sharpened 75-foot pole, the king can't sleep. So he has the Persian equivalent of counting sheep brought in.  "Read the royal records to me," he commands.  Somewhere in the reading was buried the story of Bigthana and Teresh, two would-be assassins that Mordecai had overheard talking to each other about killing the king.  He had reported them, and after examination, his report was found to be true.  They were dispensed of.  End of story.  Next Story.

"Wait..." says the king..."what was done to repay Mordecai for his loyalty and kindness?" A question he sits with all night, because he gets the report back that nothing had been recorded.

New day.  Haman comes early to the king's chambers to make his request and the stage is set as they play a small game of "no, you first".  And here is where it gets good.  Let's pick up the story in Esther ch 6.

Esth. 6:3 “What reward or recognition did we ever give Mordecai for this?” the king asked.
His attendants replied, “Nothing has been done for him.”

Esth. 6:4 “Who is that in the outer court?” the king inquired. As it happened, Haman had just arrived in the outer court of the palace to ask the king to impale Mordecai on the pole he had prepared.

Esth. 6:5 So the attendants replied to the king, “Haman is out in the court.”
“Bring him in,” the king ordered.

6 So Haman came in, and the king said, “What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me?”

Haman thought to himself, “Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?”

Which is where I want to pause us in this story.  Pastor Tripp Prince wrote, in response to this verse:

"One of the greatest and most persistent challenges that any of us ever face is that of self-love.  What I mean is this: We live as if we were the sun around which all of life orbits.  Our lives, careers, passions, hobbies, interests, activities, all of them fueling the obsession that is 'self'. And when we give into this delusion, we are unable to see the world as it truly is.  We fail to see the joys and sorrows, wants and needs of others, because we are entirely blinded by the one-man act called, 'my life'." Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

And Haman reminds us of that proclivity within all of us.  Oh...we might try to distance ourselves from the vile Haman, but we each have within us the capacity to ask "Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?" We might not say it out loud, yet it resonates deep within us.  Our lives, lived out, are inherently selfish.  Don't believe me?  

Who are you thinking about when someone gets in front of you in the 15 items or less lane with 23 items in their shopping cart?  Who are you thinking about when you are stuck in the far left lane behind a person going 10 miles less than the speed limit?  What about when boarding a plane?  You might abide by their boarding procedures to remain civil, but inwardly you are hoping that there will still be overhead bin space for your carry on and that the person next to you doesn't want to talk and spoil your plans for me-time.

So what do we do if we find ourselves in league with Haman?  Again from Tripp Prince: 

"The first step to genuine transformation is to admit that you and I are capable of this kind of self-delusion.  To say otherwise is to deny the truth of the human condition, saying we are well, when, in truth, we are sick and in need of healing.  Left to ourselves, you and I are no different than Haman.  Yet thanks be to God, by His love and power to work within us, His Spirit is setting us free from self-love, slowly but surely revealing to us the power of loving our neighbors and even our enemies as we love ourselves, that we may know the joy of being children of our Father in heaven."  Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

We must learn and acknowledge, on a daily basis, that we are not the center of the universe...and that's a good thing.  When I allow God to be God and remove myself from my paltry throne, I begin to grow in love towards others and seek their good.

A person who never learns that, while perhaps, like Haman, could even possess almost unlimited riches and power, will always be bereft of those things which truly enrich us as human beings.

God, deliver me...from me.