It's NOT All About Me!

 I love all of the plot twists and turns in the story of Esther.  It's a book filled with "I didn't see that coming" moments.  From a queen who won't cooperate with a vile request and gets deposed, to snatching up all of the beautiful virgins for the king, to him picking the least likely, to a villain in chief, Haman who hates Jews and plots their demise to a queen risking her life for her people...the story just keeps moving in a serpentine, "good news, bad news" type of way.

Picking up the thoughts from my last blog post (That ONE Thing I Can't Let Go), let's dive back into the next twist.  Haman has a 75 foot pole erected to impale Mordecai because Mordecai refuses to bow to him.  He just can't let it go.  Though he is second in command of all of Persia, this one measly guy won't bow!  So his wife, Zeresh, tells him to erect a 75-foot pole, ask the king for permission to impale Mordecai, and then go on his merry way.  He orders workmen  to work through the night to be ready in the morning to off Mordecai so that he can then be happy and free to enjoy dining with the king and queen exclusively.  But...Plot Twist...

That very same night while the workmen are setting up the sharpened 75-foot pole, the king can't sleep. So he has the Persian equivalent of counting sheep brought in.  "Read the royal records to me," he commands.  Somewhere in the reading was buried the story of Bigthana and Teresh, two would-be assassins that Mordecai had overheard talking to each other about killing the king.  He had reported them, and after examination, his report was found to be true.  They were dispensed of.  End of story.  Next Story.

"Wait..." says the king..."what was done to repay Mordecai for his loyalty and kindness?" A question he sits with all night, because he gets the report back that nothing had been recorded.

New day.  Haman comes early to the king's chambers to make his request and the stage is set as they play a small game of "no, you first".  And here is where it gets good.  Let's pick up the story in Esther ch 6.

Esth. 6:3 “What reward or recognition did we ever give Mordecai for this?” the king asked.
His attendants replied, “Nothing has been done for him.”

Esth. 6:4 “Who is that in the outer court?” the king inquired. As it happened, Haman had just arrived in the outer court of the palace to ask the king to impale Mordecai on the pole he had prepared.

Esth. 6:5 So the attendants replied to the king, “Haman is out in the court.”
“Bring him in,” the king ordered.

6 So Haman came in, and the king said, “What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me?”

Haman thought to himself, “Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?”

Which is where I want to pause us in this story.  Pastor Tripp Prince wrote, in response to this verse:

"One of the greatest and most persistent challenges that any of us ever face is that of self-love.  What I mean is this: We live as if we were the sun around which all of life orbits.  Our lives, careers, passions, hobbies, interests, activities, all of them fueling the obsession that is 'self'. And when we give into this delusion, we are unable to see the world as it truly is.  We fail to see the joys and sorrows, wants and needs of others, because we are entirely blinded by the one-man act called, 'my life'." Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

And Haman reminds us of that proclivity within all of us.  Oh...we might try to distance ourselves from the vile Haman, but we each have within us the capacity to ask "Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?" We might not say it out loud, yet it resonates deep within us.  Our lives, lived out, are inherently selfish.  Don't believe me?  

Who are you thinking about when someone gets in front of you in the 15 items or less lane with 23 items in their shopping cart?  Who are you thinking about when you are stuck in the far left lane behind a person going 10 miles less than the speed limit?  What about when boarding a plane?  You might abide by their boarding procedures to remain civil, but inwardly you are hoping that there will still be overhead bin space for your carry on and that the person next to you doesn't want to talk and spoil your plans for me-time.

So what do we do if we find ourselves in league with Haman?  Again from Tripp Prince: 

"The first step to genuine transformation is to admit that you and I are capable of this kind of self-delusion.  To say otherwise is to deny the truth of the human condition, saying we are well, when, in truth, we are sick and in need of healing.  Left to ourselves, you and I are no different than Haman.  Yet thanks be to God, by His love and power to work within us, His Spirit is setting us free from self-love, slowly but surely revealing to us the power of loving our neighbors and even our enemies as we love ourselves, that we may know the joy of being children of our Father in heaven."  Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

We must learn and acknowledge, on a daily basis, that we are not the center of the universe...and that's a good thing.  When I allow God to be God and remove myself from my paltry throne, I begin to grow in love towards others and seek their good.

A person who never learns that, while perhaps, like Haman, could even possess almost unlimited riches and power, will always be bereft of those things which truly enrich us as human beings.

God, deliver me...from me.

That ONE Thing I Can't Let Go

I was revisiting the story of Esther in Scripture for my devotions (which, if you haven’t read it lately, you should…it has more plot twists and turns than the best roller coaster) and I came to the part in the story where Haaman, the obvious villain in the story, had just finished telling his wife about his exclusive dining experience with the king and queen and how he had another royal invitation for the following evening.  But at the conclusion of the dinner, as he exited to head home, there was Mordecai, a Jew who wouldn’t bow to him.  Let’s pick up the story in Esther 5.

 

Esth. 5:9 Haman was a happy man as he left the banquet! But when he saw Mordecai sitting at the palace gate, not standing up or trembling nervously before him, Haman became furious. 10 However, he restrained himself and went on home.

Then Haman gathered together his friends and Zeresh, his wife,

11 and boasted to them about his great wealth and his many children. He bragged about the honors the king had given him and how he had been promoted over all the other nobles and officials.

Esth. 5:12 Then Haman added, “And that’s not all! Queen Esther invited only me and the king himself to the banquet she prepared for us. And she has invited me to dine with her and the king again tomorrow!” 13 Then he added, “But this is all worth nothing as long as I see Mordecai the Jew just sitting there at the palace gate.”

Isn’t that just like us? We can be in the middle of a plethora of great things happening…but we focus on the one small galling thing we might have in our lives. Or we could be getting tons of compliments—but there’s that one critical remark that our mind goes back to. Over and over again we may restrain ourselves outwardly, but that thing…that one miserable thing…keeps showing up to ruin everything else. Our hearts are not happy. Our spirits are unsettled and like a festering sore, our attention keeps returning back to that one thing. We just can’t seem to be happy until that thing is dealt with. And not just dealt with, but in a decisive way so that WE win BIG!

Zeresh comes up with a plan. Check this out.

Esth. 5:14 So Haman’s wife, Zeresh, and all his friends suggested, “Set up a sharpened pole that stands seventy-five feeta tall, and in the morning ask the king to impale Mordecai on it. When this is done, you can go on your merry way to the banquet with the king.” This pleased Haman, and he ordered the pole set up.

Does that blow your mind as much as it does mine? “You’ve got a problem with Mordecai? Kill him and then go on your merry way to the banquet with the king.” Let that sink in for just a second. Impale him and then go on your merry way…WOW!

Yet, isn’t that how we tend to treat things in our culture today? If you can just kill him or her…oh, maybe not their body…but his influence, her reputation, his credibility, her relationships…if you can just take them out of the running…gut them…impale them, as it were, then you can go on your merry way to dine with the king.

How many times have I been guilty of dropping a word here, or an accusation there, an assassination attempt of their character and reputation, so that I can go on my merry way to the banquet?

Jesus taught another way to deal with those people who really annoy you—and it really is counterintuitive! Not impaling—but in loving them.

 

Luke 6:27    “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. ²⁸ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. ³⁰ Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. ³¹ Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

 

“But that’s hard!” you might be thinking.  Yes it is…but it can spare you from a plot twist that only comes back to haunt you.   To be continued…

Ancient Assyrian Impalements
"Hanging"

Plenty of Room at the Bottom--But I Don't Want to Go!

I know it has been a while since I approached my blog.  But in retirement I'm going to start turning some of my pondering back into posts...so here's what I've been pondering lately.  Are you ready? Strap in cause here we go...

It seems that almost from the moment we are born, people are seeking to set us up to succeed.  And though we know we are born inherently selfish, (just try unplugging a pacifier from a baby—no one had to teach them THAT response) we are also naturally reinforced in that  selfishness as we grow to believe that life is all about us.  (Don’t get the cereal you want at a grocery store at age 4—throw a tantrum and you just might get it.  Don’t like being told no?  Scream and fuss until they finally give in.)  And in those early years, the reason often given to include or exclude something in my behavior is so that “other people will like you.”

And my desire to be liked is a strong enough motivator to help me curb some of my selfishness…at least for a while.  Until I discover that I can best my opponents in something.  Early on, I discover that perhaps I can run faster or jump higher than my friends.  Or I find that people like to hear me sing because I have a pitch perfect voice.   Or that I can say my ABC’s better, faster, or with more pizzaz than anyone else around. 

Then the school system teaches me that there are levels of competence in many different areas and if I can perhaps best others in just one of those areas, I am more worthy than the others.  Doesn’t matter if it’s being better at sports or spelling, math or music, social studies or science, if I can just excel at something, then I have found my niche that gives me a platform to proclaim my identity from.  And for the most part that is healthy.  It is a necessary part of growing into the identity that God gave you.  Yet it is also problematic.  Its foundation is “your worth is based on performance.”  Or you worth is based on a socialization strata.  Status based worth.

But what if God is trying to say…no…your worth and your identity is based on your people, that is who you belong to …and YOU are MINE!  You are my child and you are deeply loved just because you belong to me!

In other words, you and I already have royal status at birth.  What if God desired us to use our royal status and privilege for the sake of, not besting our adversaries, but of lifting them up?

What?  That goes against everything within me.  If I did that then they would be higher than me…and I would be…um…lower.  That doesn’t seem right.  Then I wouldn’t be getting ahead.  I would be falling behind.  Then I wouldn’t be winning.  I would be losing.  I wouldn’t be dominating or crushing the game or…do you see what begins to happen in the human heart when we just pause to challenge our assumptions?  It doesn’t make sense to our natural way of thinking.

No wonder the disciples were confused when Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of all.”  You remember the story don’t you?  It’s found in Mark 9.  It’s just a few verses, but it almost always leaves me scratching my head as it goes agains the flow of human thought.  Check it out. 

Mark 9:33    After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, “What were you discussing out on the road?” ³⁴ But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest. ³⁵ He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” *

I mean…we read the words, we hear what He is saying, but there is a natural resistance to that message.  We recoil at taking last place.  We’re disgusted by being a servant of everyone.  Servants have no status.  They have no say in how things go.  They get pushed to the background of society and become invisible.  

But Jesus would have us think otherwise.  Notice, at the Last Supper Jesus had with his disciples, knowing His true identity was what actually allowed Him to choose to serve.  Look at John chapter 13 and notice what Jesus knew and then because of what He knew, consider the action He chose. 

John 13: ³ Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. ⁴ So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, ⁵ and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.

Even after He did that and they were all ashamed that He was playing the servant, as the meal progressed and He predicted someone would betray Him, notice what happened.  They turned it back into a discussion of not only who would do such a thing, but proclaiming their own innocence in this matter and then…

Luke 22:24    Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them.  

What?  Here we go again.  Wow…it is SO engrained in our human nature that we can’t help ourselves.  We automatically start arguing about who is the greatest.  So Jesus gets real with them.  Look a the next verses in Luke 22.

Luke 22:²⁵ Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ ²⁶ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. ²⁷ Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.

So how do I answer that call to be a servant?  Paul spells it out really well in Romans 12…just after his passage on “offering yourselves as a living sacrifice to God and being transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  We often stop reading  after verse 2…but check out verse 3, this from the New International Version (NIV) of scripture.

Rom. 12:3     For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

The New Living Translation (NLT) puts that same verse this way: Rom. 12:3    Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.^b

I don’t know what that would look like for you in your everyday life, but I do know what God has been challenging me with as I have sat with this passage recently.   Thoughts like: “You don’t have to be first in traffic…lift your foot a little and smile at people as they pass you.”  “That elderly lady who’s debit card has been rejected three times just in front of you—put your card in and cover her groceries.”  “That neighbor who’s lawn resembles the Amazon jungle and he doesn’t seem to care…YOU mow it instead of muttering about him under your breath every time you drive past—and weed-eat it too!”  “Those dishes in the sink that bug you…put them in the dishwasher.” 

And I’m finding that doing those things does not diminish who I am as a person.  In fact,  knowing who I am; rather, knowing WHOSE I am allows me to choose to go lower. And I’m discovering that there is plenty of room at the bottom.  Yes, it is downward mobility, but scripture promises a great reversal when God's timing is right.  

1 Peter 5: 5, 6 “God opposes the proud

but gives grace to the humble.”^a

 6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.

*All scripture in this piece taken from the New Living Translation (NLT) unless otherwise noted.