It's NOT All About Me!

 I love all of the plot twists and turns in the story of Esther.  It's a book filled with "I didn't see that coming" moments.  From a queen who won't cooperate with a vile request and gets deposed, to snatching up all of the beautiful virgins for the king, to him picking the least likely, to a villain in chief, Haman who hates Jews and plots their demise to a queen risking her life for her people...the story just keeps moving in a serpentine, "good news, bad news" type of way.

Picking up the thoughts from my last blog post (That ONE Thing I Can't Let Go), let's dive back into the next twist.  Haman has a 75 foot pole erected to impale Mordecai because Mordecai refuses to bow to him.  He just can't let it go.  Though he is second in command of all of Persia, this one measly guy won't bow!  So his wife, Zeresh, tells him to erect a 75-foot pole, ask the king for permission to impale Mordecai, and then go on his merry way.  He orders workmen  to work through the night to be ready in the morning to off Mordecai so that he can then be happy and free to enjoy dining with the king and queen exclusively.  But...Plot Twist...

That very same night while the workmen are setting up the sharpened 75-foot pole, the king can't sleep. So he has the Persian equivalent of counting sheep brought in.  "Read the royal records to me," he commands.  Somewhere in the reading was buried the story of Bigthana and Teresh, two would-be assassins that Mordecai had overheard talking to each other about killing the king.  He had reported them, and after examination, his report was found to be true.  They were dispensed of.  End of story.  Next Story.

"Wait..." says the king..."what was done to repay Mordecai for his loyalty and kindness?" A question he sits with all night, because he gets the report back that nothing had been recorded.

New day.  Haman comes early to the king's chambers to make his request and the stage is set as they play a small game of "no, you first".  And here is where it gets good.  Let's pick up the story in Esther ch 6.

Esth. 6:3 “What reward or recognition did we ever give Mordecai for this?” the king asked.
His attendants replied, “Nothing has been done for him.”

Esth. 6:4 “Who is that in the outer court?” the king inquired. As it happened, Haman had just arrived in the outer court of the palace to ask the king to impale Mordecai on the pole he had prepared.

Esth. 6:5 So the attendants replied to the king, “Haman is out in the court.”
“Bring him in,” the king ordered.

6 So Haman came in, and the king said, “What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me?”

Haman thought to himself, “Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?”

Which is where I want to pause us in this story.  Pastor Tripp Prince wrote, in response to this verse:

"One of the greatest and most persistent challenges that any of us ever face is that of self-love.  What I mean is this: We live as if we were the sun around which all of life orbits.  Our lives, careers, passions, hobbies, interests, activities, all of them fueling the obsession that is 'self'. And when we give into this delusion, we are unable to see the world as it truly is.  We fail to see the joys and sorrows, wants and needs of others, because we are entirely blinded by the one-man act called, 'my life'." Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

And Haman reminds us of that proclivity within all of us.  Oh...we might try to distance ourselves from the vile Haman, but we each have within us the capacity to ask "Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?" We might not say it out loud, yet it resonates deep within us.  Our lives, lived out, are inherently selfish.  Don't believe me?  

Who are you thinking about when someone gets in front of you in the 15 items or less lane with 23 items in their shopping cart?  Who are you thinking about when you are stuck in the far left lane behind a person going 10 miles less than the speed limit?  What about when boarding a plane?  You might abide by their boarding procedures to remain civil, but inwardly you are hoping that there will still be overhead bin space for your carry on and that the person next to you doesn't want to talk and spoil your plans for me-time.

So what do we do if we find ourselves in league with Haman?  Again from Tripp Prince: 

"The first step to genuine transformation is to admit that you and I are capable of this kind of self-delusion.  To say otherwise is to deny the truth of the human condition, saying we are well, when, in truth, we are sick and in need of healing.  Left to ourselves, you and I are no different than Haman.  Yet thanks be to God, by His love and power to work within us, His Spirit is setting us free from self-love, slowly but surely revealing to us the power of loving our neighbors and even our enemies as we love ourselves, that we may know the joy of being children of our Father in heaven."  Dwell Daily Devotional, Sept 8, 2025

We must learn and acknowledge, on a daily basis, that we are not the center of the universe...and that's a good thing.  When I allow God to be God and remove myself from my paltry throne, I begin to grow in love towards others and seek their good.

A person who never learns that, while perhaps, like Haman, could even possess almost unlimited riches and power, will always be bereft of those things which truly enrich us as human beings.

God, deliver me...from me.

That ONE Thing I Can't Let Go

I was revisiting the story of Esther in Scripture for my devotions (which, if you haven’t read it lately, you should…it has more plot twists and turns than the best roller coaster) and I came to the part in the story where Haaman, the obvious villain in the story, had just finished telling his wife about his exclusive dining experience with the king and queen and how he had another royal invitation for the following evening.  But at the conclusion of the dinner, as he exited to head home, there was Mordecai, a Jew who wouldn’t bow to him.  Let’s pick up the story in Esther 5.

 

Esth. 5:9 Haman was a happy man as he left the banquet! But when he saw Mordecai sitting at the palace gate, not standing up or trembling nervously before him, Haman became furious. 10 However, he restrained himself and went on home.

Then Haman gathered together his friends and Zeresh, his wife,

11 and boasted to them about his great wealth and his many children. He bragged about the honors the king had given him and how he had been promoted over all the other nobles and officials.

Esth. 5:12 Then Haman added, “And that’s not all! Queen Esther invited only me and the king himself to the banquet she prepared for us. And she has invited me to dine with her and the king again tomorrow!” 13 Then he added, “But this is all worth nothing as long as I see Mordecai the Jew just sitting there at the palace gate.”

Isn’t that just like us? We can be in the middle of a plethora of great things happening…but we focus on the one small galling thing we might have in our lives. Or we could be getting tons of compliments—but there’s that one critical remark that our mind goes back to. Over and over again we may restrain ourselves outwardly, but that thing…that one miserable thing…keeps showing up to ruin everything else. Our hearts are not happy. Our spirits are unsettled and like a festering sore, our attention keeps returning back to that one thing. We just can’t seem to be happy until that thing is dealt with. And not just dealt with, but in a decisive way so that WE win BIG!

Zeresh comes up with a plan. Check this out.

Esth. 5:14 So Haman’s wife, Zeresh, and all his friends suggested, “Set up a sharpened pole that stands seventy-five feeta tall, and in the morning ask the king to impale Mordecai on it. When this is done, you can go on your merry way to the banquet with the king.” This pleased Haman, and he ordered the pole set up.

Does that blow your mind as much as it does mine? “You’ve got a problem with Mordecai? Kill him and then go on your merry way to the banquet with the king.” Let that sink in for just a second. Impale him and then go on your merry way…WOW!

Yet, isn’t that how we tend to treat things in our culture today? If you can just kill him or her…oh, maybe not their body…but his influence, her reputation, his credibility, her relationships…if you can just take them out of the running…gut them…impale them, as it were, then you can go on your merry way to dine with the king.

How many times have I been guilty of dropping a word here, or an accusation there, an assassination attempt of their character and reputation, so that I can go on my merry way to the banquet?

Jesus taught another way to deal with those people who really annoy you—and it really is counterintuitive! Not impaling—but in loving them.

 

Luke 6:27    “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. ²⁸ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. ³⁰ Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. ³¹ Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

 

“But that’s hard!” you might be thinking.  Yes it is…but it can spare you from a plot twist that only comes back to haunt you.   To be continued…

Ancient Assyrian Impalements
"Hanging"

Plenty of Room at the Bottom--But I Don't Want to Go!

I know it has been a while since I approached my blog.  But in retirement I'm going to start turning some of my pondering back into posts...so here's what I've been pondering lately.  Are you ready? Strap in cause here we go...

It seems that almost from the moment we are born, people are seeking to set us up to succeed.  And though we know we are born inherently selfish, (just try unplugging a pacifier from a baby—no one had to teach them THAT response) we are also naturally reinforced in that  selfishness as we grow to believe that life is all about us.  (Don’t get the cereal you want at a grocery store at age 4—throw a tantrum and you just might get it.  Don’t like being told no?  Scream and fuss until they finally give in.)  And in those early years, the reason often given to include or exclude something in my behavior is so that “other people will like you.”

And my desire to be liked is a strong enough motivator to help me curb some of my selfishness…at least for a while.  Until I discover that I can best my opponents in something.  Early on, I discover that perhaps I can run faster or jump higher than my friends.  Or I find that people like to hear me sing because I have a pitch perfect voice.   Or that I can say my ABC’s better, faster, or with more pizzaz than anyone else around. 

Then the school system teaches me that there are levels of competence in many different areas and if I can perhaps best others in just one of those areas, I am more worthy than the others.  Doesn’t matter if it’s being better at sports or spelling, math or music, social studies or science, if I can just excel at something, then I have found my niche that gives me a platform to proclaim my identity from.  And for the most part that is healthy.  It is a necessary part of growing into the identity that God gave you.  Yet it is also problematic.  Its foundation is “your worth is based on performance.”  Or you worth is based on a socialization strata.  Status based worth.

But what if God is trying to say…no…your worth and your identity is based on your people, that is who you belong to …and YOU are MINE!  You are my child and you are deeply loved just because you belong to me!

In other words, you and I already have royal status at birth.  What if God desired us to use our royal status and privilege for the sake of, not besting our adversaries, but of lifting them up?

What?  That goes against everything within me.  If I did that then they would be higher than me…and I would be…um…lower.  That doesn’t seem right.  Then I wouldn’t be getting ahead.  I would be falling behind.  Then I wouldn’t be winning.  I would be losing.  I wouldn’t be dominating or crushing the game or…do you see what begins to happen in the human heart when we just pause to challenge our assumptions?  It doesn’t make sense to our natural way of thinking.

No wonder the disciples were confused when Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of all.”  You remember the story don’t you?  It’s found in Mark 9.  It’s just a few verses, but it almost always leaves me scratching my head as it goes agains the flow of human thought.  Check it out. 

Mark 9:33    After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, “What were you discussing out on the road?” ³⁴ But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest. ³⁵ He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” *

I mean…we read the words, we hear what He is saying, but there is a natural resistance to that message.  We recoil at taking last place.  We’re disgusted by being a servant of everyone.  Servants have no status.  They have no say in how things go.  They get pushed to the background of society and become invisible.  

But Jesus would have us think otherwise.  Notice, at the Last Supper Jesus had with his disciples, knowing His true identity was what actually allowed Him to choose to serve.  Look at John chapter 13 and notice what Jesus knew and then because of what He knew, consider the action He chose. 

John 13: ³ Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. ⁴ So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, ⁵ and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.

Even after He did that and they were all ashamed that He was playing the servant, as the meal progressed and He predicted someone would betray Him, notice what happened.  They turned it back into a discussion of not only who would do such a thing, but proclaiming their own innocence in this matter and then…

Luke 22:24    Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them.  

What?  Here we go again.  Wow…it is SO engrained in our human nature that we can’t help ourselves.  We automatically start arguing about who is the greatest.  So Jesus gets real with them.  Look a the next verses in Luke 22.

Luke 22:²⁵ Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ ²⁶ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. ²⁷ Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.

So how do I answer that call to be a servant?  Paul spells it out really well in Romans 12…just after his passage on “offering yourselves as a living sacrifice to God and being transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  We often stop reading  after verse 2…but check out verse 3, this from the New International Version (NIV) of scripture.

Rom. 12:3     For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

The New Living Translation (NLT) puts that same verse this way: Rom. 12:3    Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.^b

I don’t know what that would look like for you in your everyday life, but I do know what God has been challenging me with as I have sat with this passage recently.   Thoughts like: “You don’t have to be first in traffic…lift your foot a little and smile at people as they pass you.”  “That elderly lady who’s debit card has been rejected three times just in front of you—put your card in and cover her groceries.”  “That neighbor who’s lawn resembles the Amazon jungle and he doesn’t seem to care…YOU mow it instead of muttering about him under your breath every time you drive past—and weed-eat it too!”  “Those dishes in the sink that bug you…put them in the dishwasher.” 

And I’m finding that doing those things does not diminish who I am as a person.  In fact,  knowing who I am; rather, knowing WHOSE I am allows me to choose to go lower. And I’m discovering that there is plenty of room at the bottom.  Yes, it is downward mobility, but scripture promises a great reversal when God's timing is right.  

1 Peter 5: 5, 6 “God opposes the proud

but gives grace to the humble.”^a

 6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.

*All scripture in this piece taken from the New Living Translation (NLT) unless otherwise noted.

Help! My Kid Left the Church! (or the Journey of Deconstruction and Reconstruction)

It is the cry of desperate parents that I hear most often.  And with all of the scary things our kids can get involved in, it is indeed a valid concern when our kids seemingly seem to "lose their faith".  Yet, often, it isn't quite as bad as our minds and imaginations may at first tell us.  With some understanding and adjustments on our part, I believe that there is hope for this generation of emerging adults on their faithing journey.   Let's start with where they are developmentally.

One of the most common parts of one’s faithing journey, typically occurring sometime in the late teens and throughout the decade of one’s twenties, is the process of deconstructing everything one has been taught about God, about life and about faith.  They are carefully and thoughtfully sifting through those pieces that have been useful to them, as well as those damaging to them.  Deconstruction often occurs at the intersection of the late teens and early twenties as many come to a realization, perhaps for the first time, that they have personal agency that allows them to choose who they are going to be or not going to be. And it often happens, at least in my observation, anecdotally, at a point of crisis in faith.  Suddenly something doesn’t work the way their Sabbath School or Sunday School teachers told them it would.  A friend gets murdered or commits suicide.  A major breakup from one they were engaged to.  The death of a parent when they prayed hard.  Or perhaps they have “tried God” and found Him to be “too rigid” for their emerging beliefs.  Whatever it is, they suddenly announce that they are done with God.

Many, in seeking freedom from an oppressive, legalistic system they may have grown up in, often throw the Baby out with the bathwater, as they deconstruct any God out of their journey and insert reason in His place.  This is not new, yet when it is your loved one, it does cause days of hand-wringing, blame-casting, disagreements which escalate to angry arguments and riven relationships.

And these are understandable when a parent has already set their course towards God, and want more than anything else for their children to do the same.  Especially since, out of their own faithing journey of deconstruction and reconstruction, they may have experienced some hard bumps and major pain from mistakes they made along the way, and they are only wanting to naturally save the child from the pain and hopelessness they may have endured.  But reasoning, cajoling, arguing, demanding or breaking down in tears after fits of rage seldom do anything to bring that child back around.  Often, it ends up pushing them further out the other way.  They might roll their eyes and exclaim in exasperation—“you just don’t understand” as they walk out the door and slam it…again…on the way out.  Or, if they can’t escape the household, or they are of passive temperament,  they may just lapse into a non-communicative stare and avoid any confrontation by withdrawing.

If you find yourself there, don’t beat yourself up too much.  You didn’t beat yourself up when they got their growth spurt in their teens, did you?  As you watched their physical bodies mature into adult bodies, you weren’t wringing your hands in anguish, because you recognized it as a normal part of growing up. 

Did you know that as much as their bodies changed between ages 6-18, their brains actually change that much and more between the ages of 14 and 25.  The difference is, you can’t actually see it happening.  You “hear” it happening.  

Thoughts they might have as they are sifting through broken pieces.  Things that they may need to unlearn that are harmful to their image of God.  Trying to make sense of a world that is non-sensical…all of these provide fodder for thoughts you may take as foreign and damaging.  

And in your haste to correct their thoughts, rather than listening carefully to understand where they are, and perhaps asking thoughtful questions to help them process, many will make hasty blanket statements like, “Well as long as you are under my roof”…”or as long as I’m paying your bills”…or well, you get the idea.  And the whole thing escalates until neither is talking to each other, and mutual love and respect is diminished.

Well, thanks for all of this positivity Pastor, this isn’t helping a lot.  Keep reading.

Let me remind you that after Deconstruction comes Reconstruction.  That is, they are processing the question: what  pieces am I going to hold onto as I build my life for the future?  What are the things I want in my life?  Here is where both the difficulty and the challenge lie for you.  

But you can avoid the panic with the realization that God loves your child/children way more than you ever possibly could and His Spirit is continually pursuing them to effect their salvation eternally.  If you truly believe that, you can take some pressure off of yourself.  While God entrusted them to your care, He never put their salvation in your hands…just the desire for their salvation.  

And while that desire is pure and right, there are things you may be doing that might be pushing them farther away from it.  Fear is the tool the devil uses most to activate those actions, and then he jumps in the middle of the fear, stirs it up “real good”, and then creates and angry firestorm from it that leaves you both hurting and estranged.  

So start by asking the question of yourself—am I consistently painting a picture of God with my life that my child could be drawn to?  That’s hard.  Because no one is attracted to an arguing, dictatorial Jesus.  No one is drawn to a God who is kind one second and flies off the handle the next.  So start there.  

And if you discover that you have been less than ideal in this area, simply apologize.  Say directly, “I’m sorry.”  No justifications, no explanations.  Just “I’m sorry”…and then follow it with with what you are sorry for.  “I’m sorry for not presenting a more compelling picture of Jesus.  I will seek to do better.”  “I’m sorry for not listening to understand…I’ve been listening judgmentally, and to correct and I have come to the realization that you have your own valid thoughts as you are seeking to figure life out for you.  I hope you can forgive me and we can turn the corner in this relationship.  I may not agree with all of your thoughts, but I don’t need to argue with you.  I want you to know that my relationship with you is what I value even if we disagree.”

Secondly, recognize that the search for God always comes down to the individual.  It has always been a personal relationship that God desires.  Just a few verses after that verse that we love to quote in Jeremiah 29:11, where God is talking about the plans He has to give us a hope and a future, we come to this one in Jer. 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  

This means you can’t seek that relationship on behalf of other people.   Only for yourself.  But you can intercede on their behalf and pray that the Lord will bring them to the point of seeking.  You can continue to present a compelling picture of Jesus for them in your own life. 

Yet too many of us want to cut short the search process for our kids by simply telling them what and how to believe. In doing so, however, we must realize that is not their faith…it is still ours that we are wanting to push on them.  And God cannot have the relationship with them that He desires if we keep trying to interject our relationship with Him onto them.  He has given each of us free moral agency and that includes the power to choose Him or not.

 

Thirdly, appreciate who your young adult is.  Compliment them on whatever it is they do well and right.  Your words of blessing still carry much weight in their hearts.  They WANT you to be proud of them in at least some way.  This is what makes deconstruction so painful for them, because they know they might be discarding some things that are dear to you, but may have been hurtful to them.   

Recognize that for them, when the pain of holding on finally outweighs their desire to please you and have your blessing, they begin to discard.  And the more you rant and argue, the more they are convinced they needed to get rid of it.  It doesn’t win them back, but rather, like a magnet turned backwards, it begins to repel them, and it is then that they begin to question that statement you may have made to them as a child that “there is nothing you can ever do to make me stop loving you.”   

Learn instead to look for things they do well and appreciate them for that.  Praise them in front of others.  Especially pick things in their character that you can be proud of.  Things like a deeply caring nature.  Compassion.  Seeking justice for those who are underserved.  Action on an issue in the face of apathy by others.  A good work ethic.  Being a caring parent to their own child.  Anything you can find to praise them will help draw them back towards you and the God you love.  

Remember, Jesus said that love would be the determining mark of His disciples.  Make sure you are truly loving them in a way they can feel it.

One of the best books I’ve read recently that really helps put this generation of young adults into perspective is: Young Adult Ministry Now by Dr. Steven Argue.(available only at AdventSource.org)  In the opening chapters, he helps paint a picture from his and other current research of this faithing (his term) journey young adults are on. And while it is written primarily from a ministry perspective of a church young adult leader, a parent could learn much about how to understand and interact with their child if applying the principles set forth in this book.

And for both parents and churches, let me leave you with a quote from Young Adult Ministry Now (pg 30). “It’s also important to consider that in any relationship, it takes two to tango.  Often there has been an overemphasis on young adults leaving the church without church leaders reflecting on their own behaviors.  If churches fail to reflect on their own assumptions, attitudes or actions, they may be creating barriers for young adults to connect with them.”  

If true of churches, how much more true of our family bonds.

Reconstruction is the journey we are on for the remainder of our lives.  You and I continue to add to our faith journey the things we find helpful.  We continue to put pieces together that aid us in our spiritual walk, while seeking to unlearn those things that have harmed us along the way.  Hopefully, with these thoughts, much prayer and love, your relationship with your young adult can help them on their faithing journey towards a more constructive, wholistic view of a God who loves them with an everlasting love and who will do anything to win them eternally.

Thankfulness as a way of Living

 I know...it's been a LONG time since I posted here.  But, as we come to the Thanksgiving season, I hope you will indulge me writing a little longer article. I began thinking about thankfulness as a way of life instead of just once a year, and it led me on a search of someone who seeks to do just that.  His name is Chad.

 

I watched a YouTube video where one man (Ryan) donated part of his liver to his brother (Chad) to keep his brother alive…and then Ryan ended up dying from complications, though he had been totally healthy before the surgery.   It was moving story in which Chad, the recipient of this gift of life, chokes up at the thought of his brother giving up his life for him.  It goes on to show the gratitude of Chad’s children as they were talking with their cousins, (Ryan’s kids) and how difficult a situation it now was for them, since they ended up losing their dad.

 

It is difficult to watch a story that without being moved.  There is something compelling about a brother who loves so much that he is willing to risk his life for a brother that is dying.  There is something noble, something right, about a man who, when he finds out that he is a match, doesn’t hesitate to step up.  You can’t watch a story like that without being moved.  Yet, in looking at the comments on Youtube underneath this video, I am amazed at how many think he did the wrong thing.

 

“Now imagine the kind of guilt he has to live with. What a shame.”

 

“Die you son of... Pray to God that Ryan's children can forgive you. I can't imagine the embarrassment you must feel. I mean imagine knowing that your dad died because of your uncle and thanks to that baby that is 38 years old and still receives kisses from his dad, you will grow up without a father! IMAGINE!”

 

“If I were Ryan’s son I’d kill Chad. It would be a slow death --trust me.”

 

“And people believe in GOD hahaha eh......if_ this ain’t proof that there’s no GOD I don’t know what is........”

 

“The guy was being selfless and God just gave him the middle-finger. Meanwhile, we have child rapists and murders in prison getting three hot meals and a bed, living long lives.”

 

First of all, I find it amazing that there are so many people who can watch a 5 minute news story and then think to pass judgment on every person in it, believing that their opinion is the only one that matters…but beyond that, I think it says something about the human condition that has turned so selfish that the perspective is one of rage and revenge or another excuse to shake your fist at God and proclaim Him to be non-existent or Someone who doesn’t care at all.  Which is the first reason we have a hard time living a life of thankfulness.

 

We have grown used to putting our perspective above all others…including the truth.  When bad things happen, we rarely challenge our own thoughts as to their rightness or wrongness.  We simply assume that if we thought them, they must be right.  We have the arrogance to believe that we are the final authority what we see and we have little room for a change in perspective. We hold to our own opinions so tightly that we refuse to see any possibility that we just might be wrong.

 

A life of ingratitude is the result.  Nothing that happens around us can then be good enough to suit us.  Nothing is worthy of our lofty heights, and it is easy to dismiss it all with a sweep of the hand as being beneath us.  Then, when trouble comes, it is also very easy to fall into a victim’s role rather than a student’s role.

 

We complain and cry that life isn’t fair and that we don’t deserve all of this pain and often conclude that if there is a God, He must hate us to put us through all of this misery.  In short, our perspective has become our god.  And our perspective is what causes us to either make thankfulness a way of life or miss out on it. 

 

Either we see things from a perspective of being grateful, or from a perspective that leaves us wanting more and feeling like we not only deserve it, but that we are getting ripped off it we don’t get it.

 

Many of us are growing past the material side of things.  That is, we’ve seen that more material possessions won’t make us any happier, but we still want more.  We never seem to be satisfied.  A new computer. A new car.  A new sofa. A new job.  A new house.  You may say, “Nope…I’m satisfied.  Don’t want any of that.”

 

What about more power?  More influence?  More skill?  More money for the job you are being asked to do?  Nope…not me.  I’m happy.  Well…maybe a little more money.  But really, I’m good.

 

More intimacy in my marriage.  More time for doing what I want.  More respect.  More love.  More appreciation from others.  Are we getting closer to home?

 

We spend our lives thinking if only we had more of something then we’d be happy.  And while we know that’s not necessarily true, the fact is, we are right.  We do need more of something.  The catch is having more… of the right stuff. 

 

If we only had more of Jesus in our lives, we would be.  If we had more trust in Divine power and less trust in ourselves, we would be more settled.  If we had more belief that God really did love us and has our best interest in mind and less doubt, we could learn to relax in His care.  Again, it’s a matter of perspective.  And where do we get that perspective?  Let’s go back to the Word.

 

A few weeks ago, we looked at the first part of this verse—and I’d like to review it—but today, I want us to focus more on the last part.

 

 

Phil 4:6-7 NIV  6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

 

Phil. 4:6-7 NLT    Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

I like the way that reads, don’t you?  It makes it readily understandable. Look at verse 6 again.   Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Don’t worry, instead pray.  Now let’s look a little more closely at the last part of verse 6.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 

 

It is not wrong to have needs.  God knows what you need—but He wants to hear from you.  He wants you to articulate what you need.  Not just what you want, but what your needs are.  See—we so often tell God what we want that we’ve often confused the two.  And there is nothing wrong with telling God what you want—but remember that He has only promised to supply what you need, though often He will go far beyond that to supply some of the wants as well.

 

Tell God what you need.  Do you really know what you need?  Is it truly more money?  Or is it a more trusting heart in God and a willingness to watch His provision?

 

Is it for your loved one to be healed?  Or is it for you to learn to yield yourself to the will of God?  Which do you want and which do you really need?

 

Is it for your kids to be kept safe physically or spiritually?  Sure, we want our kids to be kept safe physically—but we need our kids to be kept safe spiritually.

 

The very act of determining our wants from our real needs can help change our perspective. Tell God what you NEED.  Not worrying—praying.  Tell Him what you need, and then look at the last statement of the verse: and thank Him for all He has done.  Go back and recount what God has already done for you.  Not just a blanket, generic, “Thank you for all your many blessings”, but where you begin to realize that He has provided for so many of your needs and wants, starting with your greatest need—salvation, and working from there.  The perspective of gratitude gives you purpose.

 

Chad will live everyday with the realization that Ryan sacrificed his life for him, and that will put new perspective into each and every day that Chad lives.  When Chad gets up and looks at himself in the mirror, he knows that he must live this new day well because of his sense of gratitude to a brother that saved his life.  I would think that this perspective would add a new meaning and purpose to life.

 

You and I can live our days with that same purpose because there was One who took our diseases upon Himself, and our worst disease, sin, was enough to do Him in—not because He had to die.  He was perfectly healthy in every way.  It was we who were sick and doomed to die.  But when He began to do a character transplant, our sickness required so much of Him that it cost His very life.   With that realization should come gratitude that changes the way we live our lives.

 

Phil. 4:6-7 NLT    Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then notice the by-product. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

Those four statements can change your world. Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need.  And thank Him for all He has done.

 

That’s how you develop thankfulness as a way of life.  And the thing you are looking for becomes reality.  Peace.  You can have God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  And it is His peace that will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

Don’t worry.   Pray. Tell God what you need.  Thank him for what He has done.  That will change your perspective.  And that will bring you peace in your life.

 

May you have that thankfulness and peace in your life this Thanksgiving season!  Not only this season, but every day!

N