A Perspective on Happy

It would seem that in our society people are on a rampant search for happiness.  And we seek a thousand different ways to make ourselves happy.  But are we succeeding?  It doesn’t appear so.  No matter how we search or what we buy, happiness seems to be short-lived and continually elusive.  We search and search, we buy and buy, and try and try, but at the end of it all, we are just as miserable as when we started.  How do we gain the adventure-filled life.  How do we go beyond mere existence into joy?  How do we find passion and color in a world that is full of shades of gray?

In this day and age, it would seem that the end result that people want out of life is to just be happy.  And we throw those two words around like we can somehow manufacture them or buy them.  We take our hard-earned money and we spend it on things that are exciting, or things that we think will help us in that elusive search.  We buy cars, or boats, or planes or new houses, or any number of things, thinking…if I could just get my hands on that, then I would be happy.

It starts young and continues all the way through life. I’ll be happy when you buy me the toy that I want or the cereal that I want.  If not, I’ll pitch a fit right in the store until you cave in.  I’ll be happy when I’m old enough to do whatever it is you won’t let me do because you always tell me I’m too little.  I’ll be happy when I get a new bike and can get around on my own.  I’ll be happy when I get my driver’s license and you let me drive the family car.  I’ll be happy when I can get my own car.   I’ll be happy when I get a girlfriend or boyfriend. I’ll be happy when I graduate.  I’ll be happy when I  get into a good college.  I’ll be happy when I graduate from college.  I’ll be happy when I get a job.  I’ll be happy when I get married.  I’ll be happy when we buy a new car or move to the suburbs and buy a new house, and have 2.5 kids…then I’ll be happy.  I’ll be happy when I get a new job that pays me more money to pay all of these miserable bills, or a job that has a nicer boss, or better co-workers. I’ll be happy when I can take that dream vacation.   I’ll be happy when I can get a divorce.   I’ll be happy when I can get remarried. I’ll be happy when I can retire and travel.  I’ll be happy when the grandkids come over.  I’ll be happy when they leave.  I’ll be happy when I’m not such a burden on other people.  I’ll be happy when I die.

And we live life with such malcontent, that we continually wish it away.  We don’t want what we have now.  We want something better.  We have become a nation of self-seeking navel gazers more concerned about our own feelings than the fact that there are over 2 billion people starving to death in the world right now.  Or there are millions of AIDS orphans in Africa.  Or that people in Haiti can’t get beyond a poverty existence even though they sit 120 miles south of the richest country in the world.

Who cares about them?  I’m not happy! I don’t feel good about life or myself right now.  I don’t like my existence. I don’t care about others.  I just care about me. I want to be happy! And I will do whatever it takes to make myself happy…even if it is at the expense of other people. But the problem is, the sad truth is…I can never be happy, because it isn’t really my poor circumstances that makes me miserable, it’s my perspective on my circumstances. 

You can run from one thing to the next, but you still won’t be happy, because you carry your affliction deep inside you.  And until change can happen in you, you are destined to be miserable in life because you can never outrun yourself.  At the end of the day, if you continually make decisions based on something else you think will make you happy, you will find that you’ve actually created a bigger mess with more pain, more misery and more unhappiness than you had before.  And not only for you, but for anyone who happens to be around you.

That job, that lousy car, that no-good spouse, that miserable school—none of those things is really your problem.  Your problem is YOU!

Do you see a young woman or an old hag?

So what it is that makes you so miserable?  It’s your perspective. It's how you CHOOSE to look at things.  People have survived much worse than your current circumstances and yet can still live with a joy that makes no sense.  Concentration camp survivors.  POW’s.  Cancer patients.  People who have had one of their children raped and murdered.  People who have withstood horrific things in life, including multiple losses, who can have a joy and happiness while you are miserable.  What’s the difference? Perspective.

They have a purpose to their lives.  They have a passion for what they do.  They have a desire, not for their own happiness, but to make someone else’s life better.  And their outward perspective ultimately brings an inner joy to them.  Suddenly they are lifted above their own problems and life becomes an adventure because of their changed perspective.

The problem for most of us is that we are trapped in our misery and, are you ready for this?  We like it.  Oh, we don’t like being trapped, but we refuse to change our perspective, and so we remain trapped, prisoners of our own perspective.

God, grant me a fresh perspective today and help me to see that happiness is not a destination, but rather a manner of traveling.