One of the most
common things I hear as an opening line whenever kids come into to talk to me
is, “Pastor Don, I’m so stressed I don’t know what to do.”
In our current society, we push kids, we
hurry kids, we sign them up for all sorts of things…and think that it is never
enough. We expect them to be good at
EVERYTHING…instead of taking their natural abilities into account. We push and push for grades. We enroll them in soccer and t-ball and
gymnastics and dance and football and martial arts and we expect them to get
all A’s in all subjects. But what we are
really doing is saying, in essence, “you will never be good enough unless you
can produce the results.” Or as one
parent put it: “I’m paying the money so you better show me that I’m not wasting
it.” What’s the message there? My money is very important to me. I’m going to use some of it to help you
develop…but don’t waste my money. And
the implied message is…if you don’t become good at it, you have failed me, and
my money, and that is totally unacceptable.
Who says that
everyone has to be good at everything?
What if, when they make a C in a class, you ask them what they are
really good at and encourage them to pursue that? What if you told them a C was good enough for
an area they were not gifted in, while you encouraged them to pursue what they
were gifted in?
What ever
happened to individuality? Instead, we
want them to be good at everything…even
when we are not! We want them to
make all A’s! And we’ve gotten them to
buy into the notion that unless they do, they will be a failure.
Help me finish
these statements: You have to get good grades so that… (you can get into a good
college) You have to get into a good
college so that…(you can get a good job)
You have to get a good job so that…(you can make lots of money) You have to make lots of money so that…(you
can be successful and happy). Where did
we get that?
From the world’s
system of doing things. So we put
pressure on them to get good grades so ultimately they can be happy. And what we really are doing is telling them
that happiness is a station they can one day arrive at instead of a manner of
traveling. Which flies directly in the
face of what God wants to develop in them.
God is more interested in their holiness than He is their
happiness. He wants to develop their
character more than He does their bank accounts. He wants them to find true joy in serving
others. But we short-circuit that in the
lives of teens by elevating education and advanced degrees and people with money
over serving God with passion.
Don’t
misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong
with having an education and advanced degrees.
There is nothing wrong with being wealthy. But if that is what we are telling kids will
bring them happiness, then we have flat out sold them a lie. And at what cost? They have more stress in their lives than
they can handle and we heap more and more on them telling them they have to do
these things to what? Climb the world’s
social and economic ladders. We tell
them that what they are doing is never enough.
God designed
that education and advanced degrees and even our wordly wealth all be used to
honor Him. Not some artificial
socio-economic structure that we’ve bought into. But there is something more inherently
dangerous in this “never enough” message.
This attitude carries
over into their spiritual life as well.
We portray God as saying…you will never be good enough…but you better
produce anyway. Read your Bible. Pray.
Witness. Become a vegan. Learn to preach. Do good deeds for others. Give Bible Studies. Serve at the church. Get up at 4:30 every
morning, exercise, never eat Twinkies (but Little Debbie’s are ok) and if
you’re diligent, you just might make it.
But please understand…no matter what you do, it won’t be good enough.
And most will
look at us and say, “Then why should I try?”
And we basically say, “Because that’s what God has called good little
Christian boys and girls to do! So do
it!”
And we often
make it harder than it should be.
Why do
we do that? It’s perhaps because sometimes we get confused
ourselves. We sometimes don’t feel like
we are good enough or are doing enough to make it into the kingdom. Let’s
examine that for a few moments.
There used to be
taught a theology, that unfortunately still lingers, that went something like
this. First of all, when you accept
Christ, he forgives and cleanses you and imputes His righteousness to you. That’s called Justification. So far, they are on track. No problem until we start looking at the “now
what?” question. After I accept Christ,
now what?
This line of theology goes
that what happens next is that each day, Christ righteousness will come all the
way down and meet you where you are and cover your inadequacies, but that He
expects you to grow, so that each day, as you grow, Christ will need to cover
less and less, until you have actually grown up to meet Him and you have
perfectly reproduced the character of Christ.
This line of thought continues that at the end of time, when Christ
stands up and makes His pronouncement about being holy, etc., you will need to
stand without a mediator for a time, so you will need to be perfect, even as
your Father in heaven is perfect, in order to make it to heaven. If not, you are out of the pool and under the
curse.
Sounds a little
scary, but it also sounds plausible, so let’s examine it a little more
closely. If I tried to live a Christian
life under that system, I would soon become very frustrated. The frustration would come because I still come
up against my sins and my sinful nature again and again, and it would seem
that I may never reach the goal, no matter how hard I try. As a matter of fact, when I really get
honest, I realize that I will never
reach the goal! No matter what I
do, it will never be enough. And the
natural reaction would be to give up in defeat before I ever got started good.
But what does this
theology do with Christ’s words in Matthew 11: 28? "Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. 29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Where is the
easy yoke and the light burden? Living
under this theology is heavy and defeating.
As a matter of fact, it’s a lie because it puts the emphasis on what I
have to do instead of on Christ.
It actually puts me and my works
in competition with Christ and His sacrifice for me. The fact is, I will
always be in need of Christ and His grace.
Always! Anytime a theology
becomes more dependent on me, instead of Jesus, I need to put it aside.
John
14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way
and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John
6:37 All
that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never
drive away.
