Never Enough!

One of the most common things I hear as an opening line whenever kids come into to talk to me is, “Pastor Don, I’m so stressed I don’t know what to do.”

In our current society, we push kids, we hurry kids, we sign them up for all sorts of things…and think that it is never enough.  We expect them to be good at EVERYTHING…instead of taking their natural abilities into account.  We push and push for grades.  We enroll them in soccer and t-ball and gymnastics and dance and football and martial arts and we expect them to get all A’s in all subjects.  But what we are really doing is saying, in essence, “you will never be good enough unless you can produce the results.”  Or as one parent put it: “I’m paying the money so you better show me that I’m not wasting it.”  What’s the message there?  My money is very important to me.  I’m going to use some of it to help you develop…but don’t waste my money.  And the implied message is…if you don’t become good at it, you have failed me, and my money, and that is totally unacceptable.

Who says that everyone has to be good at everything?  What if, when they make a C in a class, you ask them what they are really good at and encourage them to pursue that?  What if you told them a C was good enough for an area they were not gifted in, while you encouraged them to pursue what they were gifted in?

What ever happened to individuality?  Instead, we want them to be good at everything…even when we are not!  We want them to make all A’s!  And we’ve gotten them to buy into the notion that unless they do, they will be a failure.

Help me finish these statements: You have to get good grades so that… (you can get into a good college)  You have to get into a good college so that…(you can get a good job)  You have to get a good job so that…(you can make lots of money)  You have to make lots of money so that…(you can be successful and happy).  Where did we get that?

From the world’s system of doing things.   So we put pressure on them to get good grades so ultimately they can be happy.  And what we really are doing is telling them that happiness is a station they can one day arrive at instead of a manner of traveling.  Which flies directly in the face of what God wants to develop in them.  God is more interested in their holiness than He is their happiness.  He wants to develop their character more than He does their bank accounts.  He wants them to find true joy in serving others.  But we short-circuit that in the lives of teens by elevating education and advanced degrees and people with money over serving God with passion.

Don’t misunderstand me.  There is nothing wrong with having an education and advanced degrees.  There is nothing wrong with being wealthy.  But if that is what we are telling kids will bring them happiness, then we have flat out sold them a lie.  And at what cost?  They have more stress in their lives than they can handle and we heap more and more on them telling them they have to do these things to what?  Climb the world’s social and economic ladders.  We tell them that what they are doing is never enough.

God designed that education and advanced degrees and even our wordly wealth all be used to honor Him.  Not some artificial socio-economic structure that we’ve bought into.  But there is something more inherently dangerous in this “never enough” message. 

This attitude carries over into their spiritual life as well.  We portray God as saying…you will never be good enough…but you better produce anyway.  Read your Bible.  Pray.  Witness.  Become a vegan.  Learn to preach.  Do good deeds for others.  Give Bible Studies.  Serve at the church. Get up at 4:30 every morning, exercise, never eat Twinkies (but Little Debbie’s are ok) and if you’re diligent, you just might make it.  But please understand…no matter what you do, it won’t be good enough.

And most will look at us and say, “Then why should I try?”  And we basically say, “Because that’s what God has called good little Christian boys and girls to do!  So do it!”

And we often make it harder than it should be.  

Why do we do that?   It’s perhaps because sometimes we get confused ourselves.  We sometimes don’t feel like we are good enough or are doing enough to make it into the kingdom. Let’s examine that for a few moments.

There used to be taught a theology, that unfortunately still lingers, that went something like this.  First of all, when you accept Christ, he forgives and cleanses you and imputes His righteousness to you.  That’s called Justification.  So far, they are on track.  No problem until we start looking at the “now what?” question.  After I accept Christ, now what?  

This line of theology goes that what happens next is that each day, Christ righteousness will come all the way down and meet you where you are and cover your inadequacies, but that He expects you to grow, so that each day, as you grow, Christ will need to cover less and less, until you have actually grown up to meet Him and you have perfectly reproduced the character of Christ.  This line of thought continues that at the end of time, when Christ stands up and makes His pronouncement about being holy, etc., you will need to stand without a mediator for a time, so you will need to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect, in order to make it to heaven.  If not, you are out of the pool and under the curse.

Sounds a little scary, but it also sounds plausible, so let’s examine it a little more closely.  If I tried to live a Christian life under that system, I would soon become very frustrated.  The frustration would come because I still come up against my sins and my sinful nature again and again, and it would seem that I may never reach the goal, no matter how hard I try.  As a matter of fact, when I really get honest, I realize that I will never  reach the goal!  No matter what I do, it will never be enough.  And the natural reaction would be to give up in defeat before I ever got started good.

But what does this theology do with Christ’s words in Matthew 11: 28?  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.   29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.   30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Where is the easy yoke and the light burden?  Living under this theology is heavy and defeating.  As a matter of fact, it’s a lie because it puts the emphasis on what I have to do instead of on Christ.  It actually puts me and my works in competition with Christ and His sacrifice for me. The fact is, I will always be in need of Christ and His grace.  Always! Anytime a theology becomes more dependent on me, instead of Jesus, I need to put it aside.

John 14:6   Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

See, I may never have enough, do enough, or be enough to make it on my own, but it’s not about me. It’s about Jesus.  Now THAT is Good News!!!