When You are Stuck in the Prison of Your Soul or I HATE to WAIT!!!

Genesis 41:1 "Two years passed…” After Joseph had interpreted the dreams of the baker and butler and the butler had been restored to his job, promising Joseph that if it all came true he would tell Pharaoh about him, the butler was reinstated and then...promptly forgot about Joseph—so the next verse starts with “Two years passed…” Two years! PASSED! While Joseph sat in prison!

Interesting that the Bible inserts those words. Two years passed. We have nothing recorded about Joseph’s life during those two years. We can only assume that it was lived the way the previous years had been lived because of what we see AFTER the two years. How had he lived? Gen 39: 20 So he took Joseph and threw him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were held, and there he remained. 21 But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. 22 Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners and over everything that happened in the prison. 23 The warden had no more worries, because Joseph took care of everything. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed.

"But I don’t LIKE to wait." Neither did Joseph. "Well, if my story ended up like Joseph’s I wouldn’t mind the waiting so much." Joseph had NO CLUE how his story would end up. He just found himself stuck in “wait” mode. He must have wondered a million times if he would ever get out of prison and be able to fulfill some of his goals and dreams for his life…even if they were to be spent as a slave. He could at least work to be head of the household.

No. I think Joseph must have gotten pretty tired of the waiting. Two years passed. Two years! But God hadn’t forgotten about Joseph. He had greater plans and Joseph’s character would have to be equal to the task. Like a blacksmith forging his iron, or a glassblower who knows just exactly when to take the glass out of the flames, God knew what it would take to bring Joseph’s character to be strengthened equal to the task. He knew that Joseph would have to be able to wield power carefully. God knew that Joseph would have to be kind. He knew that Joseph would need to be wise and that ultimately, Joseph would be able to preserve his family instead of annihilate them because of unresolved hatred. God knew that Joseph would have to be able to forgive.

So maybe you find yourself in the waiting period. Nothing seems to be moving. Your career. Stuck. Your passion. Gone. Relationships. Stagnate. Two years pass. Maybe 5. And you wait. And wait. How do you deal with the wait?

I have been there. Waiting. My soul passionless. Sometimes even the food I ate tasting bland and grey. No aliveness in my soul nor song in my heart. Unable to feel all but the strongest of emotions: mainly anger. Waiting and praying that God would somehow, someway deliver me from the prison of myself. My job as a pastor was crushing at times, seeking to bring hope to those that God brought to me while the grey in my soul was eating me alive. Week after week, month after month, year after year, writing sermons, counseling, giving Bible studies, planning and executing mission trips to Appalachia, seeking to keep hope alive in my own soul and my spiritual nose above water.

To be sure, there were some times better than others. There were times when it seemed like I would be getting out of this soul prison. It would seem that the door were starting to finally swing open and new hope would spring forth, but just as quickly, something would happen that would slam the door in my face. The death of friends and family members through cancer, heart attacks, strokes, car accidents, plane crashes and sometimes, even old age, all of these stretched out on my life line to slam the cell door of my soul back in my face.

I read a story once, about Mother Theresa saying that she had gone 22 years without hearing a word from God. She called it her “dark night of the soul” experience. She was asked, “How in the world did you keep going when you felt God was so distant?” Her response stunned me. She reportedly answered, “I just kept going back to the last place I KNEW I heard God speaking to me and sought to be obedient to that."

So how do I endure the waiting, especially not knowing how long it will last? I think it is found in the same way. It is in my belief that God is in control and that it isn’t so much what happens to me, but IN ME, that matters. Somehow I keep going back to the time where I KNOW I heard God speaking to me distinctly and I, like Joseph, like Mother Theresa, seek to be obedient to that until I next hear God change my calling.

And so I continue to wait. Totally dependent upon Grace to help me administer grace to the graceless, hope to the hopeless, help me write sermons and give counsel and dispense wisdom that calls people back to God. Grace that gives me strength for the journey, not knowing if today I will be in the cell, or suddenly promoted to the palace. To be sure—I rest in HIS promise: 2Cor. 12:9 NLT Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Two years passed… how will YOU wait?

Reason to Hope

It’s amazing how one phone call or one conversation or one piece of information can suddenly plunge us into our own world of darkness.  You know what I mean. “There’s been a terrible accident.”  “I hate to tell you this, but your tests came back positive.  You have cancer.  There’s not much we can do.”  “Your mommy and I just can’t live together anymore.”  We hear those words and our world goes dark.  The birds may be singing and sun may be shining, but it’s raining on the inside.  The storm clouds have moved in and the thunder and lightning in your soul drown out just about everything else.  Ever since sin entered into this world, life has become full of those moments. 

We can’t escape them.  We can try to pretend that they aren’t there and that nothing is wrong, but it doesn’t make it so.  We can deny and act as though we are fine, but our soul is in solitary confinement with the light shut out.  Where do we find the hope in a time like that?  Where is our one blade of grass on those days?  How do we go on when we don’t even want to?  What is our reason to hope?

And as long as you have hope, you can’t be defeated.  I’m not talking about unrealistic denial of the facts.  I’m not talking about hoping for what can never be.  I’m talking about a realistic trust in the Lord; a looking to Him for your stability in the midst of your storm.  A confidence that no matter what happens, He will see you through.  When you have that hope within you, no one can take it away, no matter what they do to you.  And you will, yourself, be a source of hope to those around you.

Anthony de Mello in his book The Heart of the Enlightened, page 19 writes:

Once upon a time in a concentration camp there lived a prisoner who, even though he was under sentence of execution, was fearless and free.  One day he was seen in the middle of the prison square playing his guitar.  A large crowd gathered to listen, for under the spell of his music, they became as fearless as he.  When the prison authorities saw this, they forbade the man to play.

But the next day there he was again, singing and playing on his guitar with a larger crowd around him.  The guards angrily dragged him away and had his fingers chopped off. 

Next day he was back again, singing and making what music he could with his bleeding fingers.  This time the crowds were cheering.  The guards dragged him away again and smashed his guitar.

The following day he was singing with all his heart.  What a song!  So pure and uplifting!  The crowd joined in, and while the singing lasted, their hearts became as pure as his and their spirits were invincible.  So angry were the guards this time that they had his tongue torn out.  A hush descended on the camp, a something that was deathless.

To the astonishment of everyone, he was back in his place the next day swaying and dancing to a silent music that no one but he could hear.  And soon everyone was holding hands and dancing around this bleeding, broken figure in the center while the guards stood rooted to the ground in wonder.

Two thousand years ago, thinking to silence hope, the devil looked at the Singer of life and love said, “Destroy this One, and we destroy any hope that humanity ever thought of having!”  And he did his best.  Satan used one of Jesus’ friends to betray Him.  The mob took Him. They spit on Him; pulled out His beard, beat Him until He was almost dead.  Then forced Him to carry his cross up a rugged hill, and there, they crucified Him. 

“That should do it!” Satan beamed.  And for a while, it looked like it would work.  The disciple’s world caved in.  They locked themselves into a room for fear of the Jews.  It was as if a hush descended on the camp, a something that was deathless.

All seemed bleak.  Hopeless.  Dark.  But then someone found the crack in the concrete.  A small hole with a single blade of grass hope.  “Hey, I wonder if it’s really true?” “What’s that?”  “Well, you know, what He said about the third day.”

It seemed hopeless to all, but to the astonishment of everyone, on the third day, Jesus was back in His spot once again singing hope.

Scripture tells us in Romans 8 that nothing can separate us from the love of God.  That’s hope.

Psa. 62:5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Lam. 3:25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Rom. 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Jer. 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I don’t know what dark cell you may be in this morning.  I don’t know what is darkening your sky…But I do know there’s hope.  I have no idea where you are in your walk with Jesus, but let me just say: That’s where your hope lies.  That’s where you will find it.  It may only be a blade of grass hope to start with, but He promises to give you a hope and a future.

You can go on.  You can make it, because He did.  You have an assurance of tomorrow because He’s provided it for you.  He’s still in His place singing His song of hope.  It may seem silent in your soul…but if you look closer, you might just see Him dancing and swaying in place to a music that can’t be conquered.  A music, that in the face of all odds can bring you hope.  A music that He longs to bring to your soul.  Because He did all that for you, He can bring you hope.  Open up your heart and receive it.  Look out from the darkness of your soul and see the color once again, no matter what you are facing.  It may be only a small wisp of fresh air and a view revealing that small blade of green grass, but that still signals there’s hope.  And Jesus is holding it out to you.  Reach out and take it. Take it and let Him put the music back in your soul.  And then turn to your neighbor, turn to your family, turn to any the Lord brings across your path and share that hope with them.  Be in your spot, singing hope to a world that so badly needs it.